last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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