Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
