Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
