the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
