Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
