Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
