She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
