Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
