The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize