You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize