Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
