I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
