I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
