I want to stick my p in your. b.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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