You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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