Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
