Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
