Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
