You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
