This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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