Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
