You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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