if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
