Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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