That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
