I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
