Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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