Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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