god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
