is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
