And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
