First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You made out with two different species that night
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
