Just fell off a train. Bad.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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