Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
