I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
