i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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