A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
