He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
