I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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