Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
