is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
