I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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