The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
