dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize