wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
