no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
