we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Drake has all the answers
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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