What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
