woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
