I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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