Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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