I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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