dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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