R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
