You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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