your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
