i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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