I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
that may or may not have been my penis.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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