god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
