i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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