So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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