I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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